Playing Re-Runs
by MissKristella
Summary: Ukraine, Belarus, and Russia, hand in hand, would be together as they'd watch people leave them, one-by-one. Everyone left until it was left with the three. Soon it was just left with Belarus and Russia. Ever since then the thought of Russia leaving would haunt Belarus. Now she fears that it just might come true...


When I was little, I'd watch as everyone would leave my big brother and I. He was so sad then, and I hated it. One by one people would leave us. And each time they did, he only grew sadder.

"Why don't you leave me!? Why do you stay!?" He once yelled at me. I told him it was because I wanted to look out for him, and I wanted to be there for him. Because I was there with him this whole time, everyone in my life left me as well. I was sad about it for a while, but once I realized Russia needed me, I decided not to show concern about it.

When I was little, I would always have nightmares. They would be re-runs in my head of those people leaving us. It would be me and Russia holding hands as we watch our loved ones turn their backs and walk away. Some nights it would get worse, much worse. In these awful nightmares, Russia would let go of my hand and walk away from me, and I would stand alone. I would wake up screaming and the next thing I knew, Russia would slam the door open and come right to my side and comfort me. Eventually, I'd fall asleep in his arms.

Later on in life, I found myself thinking more of him than just a brother. At first, the very thought disgusted me and I would not admit it. But as days passed, the more I felt this way. Eventually it came to where I couldn't hide it.

Ever since I was little, I was extremely clingy to him. I was so scared that he'd leave me too. More than anything, I didn't want that to happen. With my love for him, I became even more so. Russia realized this, and told me he needed a bit of space.

I spent that night crying, silently so he wouldn't worry. Needed space...? Was he thinking of leaving me too? No, I can't have that happen! He's all I have left! Never could I... Just never!

In fear of losing him as well, I felt as if I were left with no choice. I became a much scarier person. I would keep him from others; I would have weapons on me constantly just for them. Somewhere down the line, this scared Russia too. He began wanting less and less to do with me. I only tried clinging to him more.

I really am an idiot. If I do that, he'll want to leave me more... But, I just don't know what to do... I feel as if either way, he will leave me in the end... I might as well try.

I spent many more nights crying silently. He's going to leave me... I will have nothing left... I tell him every day I love him, but it's never enough... That was when the thought occurred to me. If I were to marry him, I wouldn't have to worry. Since I am all he has left as well, he just might agree!

I approached him with the subject, and he seemed appalled. Horrified, he ran from me. I wasn't going to give up without a fight. I found myself constantly bringing up the subject, hoping that just maybe he'd change his mind.

After crying myself to sleep another night, the same nightmare visited me.

Young Russia and I stood together holding hands, smiling. For once we were happy. Then, one by one every person we'd ever held dear turned their backs on us. No. They turned their backs on Russia. They only did it to me because I was still by his side. Since I've done so much for him... Since I'm all he has left... Aren't I entitled to his hand in marriage?

The same quote came up again, as young Russia yelled, "Why don't you leave me!? Why do you stay!?"

"I stay because I love you." I said to him.

He then let go of my hand, turned his back to me and walked away.

I woke up screaming once more, with tears running down my face. With my unsteady breathing I stared at the door, waiting. Nothing happened. I felt a few tears run down my cheeks as I tried to fall asleep again. "Don't leave me..." I mumbled as I fell into a light sleep. Something inside me wished I wouldn't wake up. But, I have to be alive... Right? Russia needs me...

...Right?


End file.
